The seaside town of Fircombe is facing a crisis – it's always raining and there's nothing for the tourists to do. Councillor Sidney Fiddler (Sid James) hits on the notion of holding a beauty contest. The mayor, Frederick Bumble (Kenneth Connor), is taken with the idea but feminist councillor Augusta Prodworthy (June Whitfield) is outraged and storms out of the meeting. The motion is carried in Augusta's absence, and Sidney contacts publicist Peter Potter (Bernard Bresslaw) to help with the organisation. Sidney's girlfriend, Connie Philpotts (Joan Sims), runs a local hotel and soon her residents—including the eccentric Mrs Dukes (Joan Hickson) and the randy old Admiral (Peter Butterworth)—are outnumbered by putative models, including diminutive biker Hope Springs (Barbara Windsor) and tall, buxom Dawn Brakes (Margaret Nolan). A catfight orchestrated by Hope after thinking Dawn has stolen her bikini provides better newspaper copy than bringing a donkey off the beach which, despite the bucket and spade of hotel porter, William (Jack Douglas (actor)), ruins the plush carpets. Augusta's son, press photographer Larry (Robin Askwith), is hired to document the donkey stunt and snaps the catfight that has the Mayor losing his trousers, then gulps his way through a nude photo shoot with Dawn. The Mayor's wife, Mildred (Patsy Rowlands), joins Prodworthy's bra-burning movement and plots the downfall of the Miss Fircombe contest on the pier. Peter Potter reluctantly becomes a man in a frock for another publicity gimmick for the television show ''Women's Things'', presented by Cecil Gaybody (Jimmy Logan) and produced by Debra (Sally Geeson). Prodworthy and butch feminist Rosemary (Patricia Franklin) call in the police (David Lodge (actor) and Billy Cornelius) to investigate the male pageant contestant but Peter's previously prim girlfriend, Paula (Valerie Leon), has a makeover and turns out to be very buxom and glamorous. and steps into the breach as the mysterious girl. Prodwort