Growing up, friends Mitch Weaver (Norm Macdonald) and Sam McKenna (Artie Lange) are taught by Sam's hard-nosed dad, "Pops" McKenna (Jack Warden), not to "take crap from anyone". To that end, the pair plant a bunch of guns in a schoolyard bullying's desk and have him arrested for gun possession; next, they catch a child molestation crossing guard in the act, after having applied Cyanoacrylate to the bottom of Mitch's pants.