U.S. Navy Ensign Frank Pulver (Robert Walker (actor, born 1940)) feels unappreciated, as usual. Even when he personally aims a sharp object into the hindquarters of the hated Captain Morton (Burl Ives), the happy crew cannot imagine that the all-talk, no-action Pulver could be behind it. A poll to guess at the identity of the "ass-sassin" results in votes for almost everyone except Pulver, which he bitterly resents.